Monday: 25 man Tuesday: 25 man Wednesday: Flex Thursday: 25
Is flex raiding mandatory? No. It's hard enough for me to ask
you guys to consistently play 4 nights a week. You don't have to come. The fact
that the raid scales from 10 - 25 is quite awesome.
priority? Assuming we hit the minimum number/ratio of tanks and healers,
I'd like to ensure that the main raiding players (players in and out of group
6/7) who were unable to get in on the regular 25 man raids see action on Flex
Can I bring an alt? Yes, absolutely! I anticipate the first
few weeks will be busy as everyone wants to bring in their mains to get
upgrades. After that, as people start replacing their gear from normal
25s/Warforged, they can bring in their alts. However, your alts must meet the
minimum floor required to raid at the level that's needed. It's your
responsibility to ensure your character is ready. Flex raid is easier than
normals, but it's still a little tougher than LFR.
I looked around in disgust at the group of lazy, mouth breathing slobs that I would no doubt have to carry once again. I started to pull trash ON TIME...
I am Boomkin and therefore godlike in my ability to DPS/HEAL and TANK at the same time.
My raid looked at me with silenced awe as I cleared wave after wave of trash
I smiled with thinly veiled contempt as I reached the boss... THE IRON QON.
While the rest of my raid talked with pride about their Pokemons and what colors their guys crappy transmog was, I put my mind to task of devising an easy strategy
As I thought about the limitations of most of guild members, Inada taking on the ineptitude of her real life running skills, Usbeorn's lack of being able to focus on task at hand and not doing his homework, Mizu totally forgetting he has smokebomb and what it does exactly, and even Matt the guild leader who is too focused on making sure his mom cooks him dinner then concentrate on being better in raid.
With all this and god knows how many other things I have to deal with I put forth a sound strategy that would enable victory for the night!
"Hey lets delay use of Heroism till all the dogs are down and focus Damren first so we get rid of the shield". I said with obvious intelligence that only a well educated and obviously handsome man could say. "durrr whats about the fire impolosion thingy we dont kill fast enub we die at start" some mouth breather muttered like an obese child in remedial class.
"We can take some stacks early then go to implosion then soak stacks again at the end". I prayed they understood me. After utter silence for what seemed forever I finally got a reply back. "durr we try that for now". I rolled my eyes and began what would surely be a long night of attempts and failure.
Earlier in the tier we overcame the dastardly devised issue of tornado dodging by doing the only possible thing that any guild can do and recruit as many warlocks as we can for portals. Still with 3 portals up we still had some mouth breathers who couldn't push their obese fingers quick enough to do the simple task of... Wait for tornado to pass,push up key to move forward. Wait for tornado to pass,push up key to move forward. Luckily we had the right combination late in the night of no one dying to tornadoes and we moved past what most guild refer to as "THE EASY PHASE".
We had a great attempt going. We got to the stupid easy phase of "DROP YOUR AIDS AND DON"T KILL YOURSELF" Phase. Things were looking good. Of course someone,not me of course, had to ruin it. THis wasn't just panic it was panic on a global scale that basically destroyed the entire raid. Instead of just dying because they didn't know what to do they decided it would be better to have everyone else dye as well to share in their pain and failure. At this point I had my keyboard in my hands and was slowing bending it as too break BUT I calmed myself and reminded myself these are guys that were discussing earlier what showtunes they liked.
I knew I had to step up my game. I had to take control and lead us to victory. I interrupted Alame as he blabbed something that was clearly unimportant and told the raid "Pick it up and stop being stupid children". It worked there was silence and then I said "Hey who is leading this raid?". Matt spoke up finally probably between spoonfuls of mushu pork and whispered "I am". "Well lets get going" I ordered him in my usual sexy manner that had both our female and gay guild members tingling in the nether regions.
Our final attempt of the night begins or as I like to call it "Sulik gets Lightining Storm every fucking time and I have to fucking click him every damn time". Everything was going according to plan. Boner was dying first phase, Boner is one of Usbeorns friends who raids arms. We complete the tornado phrase FLAWLESSLY. Phase 3 goes by like whoa and everyone drops aids. All dogs come down and with a mighty roar I pop all cooldowns and MOONFIRE EVERYTHING, they die instantly allowing us to enter phase 4 with everyone alive except for that Jehovah's witness Boner.
We are going to do it, I yell out which instantly turns my girlfriend on because I am shouting and well you know. I release a massive tranquility at the end that beats Alame on the healing meters. 15 percent to go! "KEEP UP THE TANK" I yell. Vern dies probably because his shield broke during combat because he failed to repair. Instantly, I zip into action. I go BEAR and TAUNT. I am tanking for all my worth. VICTORY! THE IRON QON IS DOWN! But Fushi steals my thunder saying she tanked him. My mic had broken from the manliness of my cheers and I couldn't correct her. She takes all my well deserved glory and they lavish praise on her.
I am left dejected after an incredible night of carrying. My huge,broad,muscular shoulders are sore after carrying that many obese mouth breathers for the night. I know it has only begun though and this will be just one night of what will end up being many carries. Thus is my lot in life and the blessed lord has given me this godly gifts and I must do good with them.
Once upon a time there was a tiny turtle named Tortos that fell through a crack in the world. He fell down down down through dark stone until he landed with a terrible smack! His beautiful shell cracked, and he cried to lose such loveliness.
"Oh ho!" came a voice behind him, deep and crackling with power. The little turtle turned to find the great emperor Lei Shin behind him, electricity leaping up and down his body. "Why do you cry?"
"My shell, my beautiful shell, it is broken!" the turtle cried sorrowfully.
Lei Shin snorted in disgust. "Your love of beauty is a weakness! However, I will do you a boon in exchange for a favor. I will heal you and mend your broken shell, but you must do what I ask of you."
Tortos snuffled and sighed but nodded, his shell worth whatever the mogu would ask of him. The emperor smiled, and lightning shot from his fingertips. Good to his word, the cracks in the shell mended seamlessly and the little turtle exclaimed in glee.
But what was this? He couldn't move? Electricity glowed around him, and he grew larger and larger until he filled the entire cavern! He was stuck!
Lei Shin let out a booming laugh. "There, my new pet, you are mended and now you serve ME! Let no one past you or it will be more than your shell that cracks."
The little turtle (that was no longer so little) cried and strained and heaved, but could not move. Resigned, he did as the mogu bid him, and protected the cavern from intruders.
And then, one day a different group came in. They were strong! Tortos killed them numerous times, but they kept coming back! Panicked, he sent more and more of his offspring against him, calling them faster and faster. He slammed his front legs and knocked stalactites from the ceiling, but they were dodged (most of the time). He took deep breaths and tried to breathe stone at them, but they grew wise and used the shells of his very children to knock the air from his lungs.
He called the bats but they were kept busy - the slows were endless! But each time they caught the curious blue goat-like creature and decimated him before destroying the rest. Tortos relaxed, surely they would never best him.
They came back, and the goat-man blew a howling icy blast onto the bats. Tortos felt death come for him.
"No!" he cried, and shattered into pieces, his beautiful shell dust on the ground.
The group stood around his fallen body, cheering. Suddenly, one turned to the goat-man.
"Seriously, why the hell weren't you frost before we wiped for three hours?"
What started as a time-killer turned into one of the greatest feelings in raiding.
It's not often you start pulling a heroic boss just because, but with our bat tank running late we walked into Council of Elders totally unprepared.
And we did really well. What we expected to end in a horrific sand-ridden graveyard looked a lot like a controlled, organized raid. Even if we only made it about a quarter of the way in.
Emboldened by our success, the pulls kept coming, and every time we got a little closer. Sure there were some difficulties, certain pulls looked less like a raid and more like kill-the-ginger hot potato (sorry Gneisha.) Others had healers hitting every button there was while Khazrajin slaughtered our raid. There was even one unexpected episode of vomiting mid-pull.
But we kept pulling, kept having fun, and kept progressing. Finally, with a little determination, a frenzied shout of "DON'T PANIC", and one raider repetitively sacrificed to the Loa (sorry Coven) Khazrajin fell to the ground and joined his counterparts in death.
This fight felt extremely good. It felt like a final "F you" to Lei Shen and tier 15. Our progress was hampered by a wide variety of issues (including several sign-outs Matticus insisted weren't dates, yet he wouldn't say what they were.) and there's no doubt in my mind the talent in this raid group could compete for a top spot on server. Killing what is considered one of the harder heroics in the tier well ahead of our progression and kill order proved that we are a skilled and capable raid team. The challenge now is taking that momentum into Orgrimmar and backing up our skill with numbers.